


Drv3 rarepair hell chat

by OsmiusDreamer



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Comfort, Eventual Relationships, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Genderfluid Character, How Do I Tag, I mean like very very slow burn, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Probably not the ships you expect, Slow Burn, Tags Are Hard, WHAT IS SLEEP, burning trash heap, can i eat it, chatfic, inconsistent updates, no beta we die like men, rarepair hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-10-31 11:17:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17848430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OsmiusDreamer/pseuds/OsmiusDreamer
Summary: Oh wow, another danganronpa chatfic. So what is this one's claim to fame? What sets it apart from the others?The compilation of ships that really do not exist out there in the wild.By all means this should be crack but I have challenged myself to take these cracky ships with full seriousness. Go ahead, click and enter, and give me your soul. I've kinda misplaced mine





	1. The start of something new

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so yes, hello, hi. This is my first story I am posting here on AO3, and as an explanation, I had an idea one day while reading the infamous "This groupchat was a mistake, Kii-boy". And that was, what if I decided to take some bizarre and cracky ships and try to make them work out? As a result of that, I dove deep into the hellish pits of my mind in an effort to collect a bunch of ideas. I can not guarantee that all of the characters will be particularly canonical, and there will be a heavy influence of headcanons on this fic. That said, good luck with this.

**_Akamatsu Kaede created 79th class of Hope’s Peak_ **

 

**_Akamatsu Kade added Shuichi Saihara and 14 others to 79th class of Hope’s Peak_ **

 

**Akamatsu Kaede:** Hello everyone! As class representative, I have created this chat to enable easier communication between all of us. Hopefully we can all become friends!

 

**Harukawa Maki has left the chat**

 

**Momota Kaito added Harukawa Maki to the chat**

 

**Harukawa Maki:** Let me leave.

 

**Akamatsu Kaede:** Come on, what is the worst that could possibly happen?

 

**Ouma Kokichi has removed admin rights from 15 people**

 

**Harukawa Maki:** …

 

**Akamatsu Kaede:**  Ok I think I may have seen where i went wrong now.

 

**Yumeno Himiko:** … I don’t want to be here.

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** Man you guys are rude! I am the Ultimate supreme Leader after all, I’m just claiming what I deserve!

 

**Harukawa Maki:** ...Do you want to die?

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Mom protect me!

 

**Tojo Kirumi:** You are no child of mine.

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** … That’s a lie, isn’t it? 

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** Also, I’m already sick of these names! Let’s mix it up a bit!

 

**Shinguuji Korekiyo:** Ahh… the beauty of Humanity.

 

**Iruma Miu:** Shut up you creepy twig ass

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Shinguuji Korekiyo’s name to Alien’s Boner**

 

**Alien’s Boner:** I fail to see how this fits…

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** You constantly talk about humans as if you weren’t one, and you sound pretty horny when you do

 

**Iruma Miu:** LMAO YOU RIGHT

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Iruma Miu’s name to Queen of Thots**

 

**Amami Rantaro:** ...Did I just hear Miu moan?

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Amami Rantaro’s name to Where am I going, Where am I off ta’**

 

**Where am I going, Where am I off ta’:** Ok, first, I only got lost twice. Second, that is a bit of a mouthful.

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** Twice is too often for the “Ultimate Adventurer”. Also, you right

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Where am I going, Where am I off ta’’s name to Guac Dye Job**

 

**Guac Dye Job:**

 

**Guac Dye Job:** Well I suppose it is better than most…

 

**Momota Kaito:** Ok now I am starting to get concerned about what the rest of us are gonna be

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** Thanks for volunteering!

 

**Momota Kaito:** FUCK WAIT NO!

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Momota Kaito’s name to URANUS? MYANUS**

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** YOU LITTLE SHIT IM GONNA KILL YOU

 

**Gokuhara Gonta:** Gonta no understand? Why friends threaten other friends?

 

**Saihara Shuichi:** Too pure for this world…

 

**Harukawa Maki:** You better not, Ouma…

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Gokuhara Gonta’s name to Cocoon of Love**

 

**Cocoon of Love:** :D

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** Even he knows not to mess with Gonta

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** Of course! Can’t take over the world when I’m dead!

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Saihara Shuichi’s name to *Blasting MCR***

 

***Blasting MCR*:** …

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Harukawa Maki’s name to Go Kermit Die**

 

**Go Kermit Die:** …

 

**Go Kermit Die:** I can’t believe I am gonna say this, but I want to join the idiot in killing the gremlin.

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** Of course! Join me in revenge Maki Roll!

 

**Go Kermit Die:** … You do realize you are number 2 on the list?

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** Right, got it.

 

**Hoshi Ryoma:** … How do I get on that list?

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** A cryptid!

 

**Ouma Kokichi changed Hoshi Ryoma’s name to Ultimate Cryptid**

 

**Ultimate Cryptid:** Please Maki I beg you. Move me up the list.

 

**Tojo Kirumi:** No, there will be no dying or murdering today

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Tojo Kirumi’s name to Mother**

 

**Mother:** For the last time, I am not your mother.

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** Yes mommy~

 

**Mother:** Alright, Maki, I will perhaps allow one murder.

 

**Cocoon of Love:** No! Friends do not hurt friends!

 

**Yonaga Angie:** Atua has blessed us with this sweet child!

 

**Ouma Kokichi changed Yonaga Angie’s name to AtuaSaysOWO**

 

**AtuaSaysOWO:** OWO

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** OWO

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** NOT TODAY YOU FOUL DEMONS

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** SHIT I CAN’T LEAVE ANYMORE! 

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** OWO

 

**Yumeno Himiko:** Nyeh… this is already a headache

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** <W<

 

**Chabashira Tenko:** DON’T YOU DARE YOU FILTHY DEGENERATE

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Yumeno Himiko’s name to Mageit**

 

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** Ouma? I’d start running… I just heard a door slam…

 

**Ouma Kokichi :** I kmow imm typi ng as I running

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Chabashira Tenko’s name to IncreDiBLe Hgih sPeEd**

 

**Kiibo:** Wow! I don’t think I have seen either Ouma or Tenko run so fast before! 

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** Ok I think I’ve lost her. Time to continue!

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Kiibo’s name to ROBO-BITCH**

 

**ROBO-BITCH:** THAT’S ROBOPHOBIC

 

**Queen of Thots:** VINE IS DEAD 

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** VINE IS NEVER DEAD YOU CUM DUMPSTER

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** STOP MAKING MIU MOAN DAMMIT

 

**Mageit:** This is too much… who have you not gotten? I just want the notifications to stop so I can sleep…

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Shirogane Tsumugi’s name to The Only Japanese Weeaboo**

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Akamatsu Kaede’s name to Mii Theme Piano Cover**

 

***Blasting MCR*:** Change your nickname too Ouma. If you do it to us, do it to yourself too

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** Nishishi!

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** oh god did he seriously just type his laugh?

 

**AtuaSaysOWO:** OwO;;

 

***Blasting MCR*:** I am now much more concerned…

 

**Ouma Kokichi has changed their name to Supreme Overlord**

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** Ok that wasn’t as bad as it could have been

 

**Mother:** We all have class tomorrow. I would recommend going to sleep, if any of you need anything before you turn in, make sure you let me know.

 

**Supreme Overlord:** Yes mommy!

 

**Mother:** Please stop.

  
  



	2. Heavy Truths and a Few Lies (Pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two truths and a lie happen in the chat in an effort to build friendship. Unfortunately our crew of strangers don't exactly have the normal kinds of responses to such a game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow! A second chapter! Warning for some pretty heavy stuff mentioned, cause let's face it, them DangNabRobYa kiddos don't exactly have the happiest things to draw upon. Some headcanons present, assorted shenanigans happen. Still not fully certain where this chat will go, i have a couple ideas but yeahhhhhh nothing solid. that said, enjoy this new burning addition to the trash heap this story is!
> 
> Also Kork suffering is a delight despite the fact that he my favorite boi. I wonder what that says about me?

**_79th Class of Hope’s Peak_ **

 

**_9:45 p.m._ **

 

**Mii Theme Piano Cover:** So we had a Class Rep meeting today, and they told us to do some icebreaker activities to try and get to know eachother better! So we are gonna play two truths and a lie!

 

**Go Kermit Die:** Do we honestly have to participate?

 

**Mii Theme Piano Cover:** Of course! We are gonna have to deal with each other for the next several years, we should at least try to make it as painless as possible.

 

**Go Kermit Die:** …

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** cmon, its two truths and a lie! Its not like you’re confessing your love to anyone!

 

**Go Kermit Die:** Fine, but I do it under protest.

 

**Mii Theme Piano Cover:** Yay! Is everyone online? Say Aye!

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** Aye!

 

**Go Kermit Die:** Aye

 

**Supreme Overlord:** Aye!

 

**AtuaSaysOWO:** Aye Aye!

 

**Alien’s Boner:** Aye.

 

**IncreDiBLe Hgih sPeEd:** Aye

 

**Mageit:** Aye

 

**Cocoon of Love:** Aye! :D

 

**Mother:** Aye

 

**The Only Japanese Weeaboo:** Aye!

 

***Blasting MCR*:** Aye

 

**Ultimate Cryptid:** Aye…

 

**Queen of Thots:** Aye Bitches!

 

**ROBO-BITCH:** Aye

 

**Guac Dye Job:** Aye

 

**Mii theme piano cover:** Everyone know how to play?

 

**Alien’s Boner:** I believe so, but it would probably be wise to go over the rules one more time.

 

**Mii Theme Piano Cover:** Right! Basically, one person says three things about themselves. Two are true, one is a lie, and everyone else tries to guess which one is which!

 

**Supreme Overlord:** For some of you, I bet this will be very easy! Not to mention all the juicy material I can get from this!

 

**Mii Theme Piano Cover:** Uh… please don’t but anyways, do we have a volunteer?

 

**Mother:** I suppose I could go first. 1) I once worked for the prime minister of Japan, 2) A client once requested for me to kill someone for them, and 3) I already know all of your requested conditions for living.

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:**

 

**Mii Theme Piano Cover:**

 

***Blasting MCR*:**

 

**Supreme Overlord:**

 

**Go Kermit Die:**

 

**Alien’s Boner:**

 

**Queen of Thots:**

 

**ROBO-BITCH:**

**Ultimate Cryptid:**

 

**AtuaSaysOWO:**

 

**The Only Japanese Weeaboo:**

 

**Mageit:**

 

**IncreDibLE Hgih sPeEd:**

 

**Cocoon of Love:**

 

**Guac Dye Job:** Well alright ok then! Um… I genuinely have no idea…

 

**Supreme Overlord:** Well, I certainly haven’t told you my conditions…

 

**Ultimate Cryptid:**  God I wish Kirumi would kill me….

 

**Cocoon of Love:** D:

 

**Ultimate Cryptid:** Ok actually I think sad Gonta is gonna kill be by accident first.

 

***Blasting MCR*:** Well I mean, she is the ultimate Maid, so I doubt the prime minister is really too far off… Somehow, I think that despite all odds, the third one is the lie?

 

**Mother:** That is correct. I don’t know all of your preferences. Which is why I need you all to talk to me as soon as possible so I can get them all to know how best to serve you.

 

**Mii Theme Piano Cover:** Ok… Well… does anyone want to go next?

 

**AtuaSaysOWO:** Atua says I should go next! Nyahaha! 

 

**AtuaSaysOWO:** 1) I require a pint or two of blood every few days to appease Atua! 2) I have sold my art for millions of dollars! And 3) I have participated in multiple large groups of lovemaking on my home island!

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** IS ANYONE IN THIS CLASS NORMAL????

 

**Queen of Thots:** Oh damn little Angie’s been in orgies? Fuckin’ HOT!

 

**Alien’s Boner:** I believe I can answer this one with quite a bit of ease. The second one is the lie. Is that correct Angie?

 

**AtuaSaysOWO:** Nyahaha! That is correct! How did you know? 

 

**Alien’s Boner:** While I haven’t been to your island, I have been to similar. I believe that with that said, I should go next.

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** Oh god…

 

**AtuaSaysOWO:** *Atua!

 

**Supreme Overlord:** Oh this should be good! I wonder what Slenderman has for us!

 

**Alien’s Boner:** 1) I have murdered almost 100 people for my dead sister. 2) I have been ritualistically tortured by a tribe I observed for a while. 3) I am a high level master of Kinbaku, to the point where I was begged not to leave from a certain village.

 

**Supreme Overlord:** ...I was not disappointed?

 

**Go Kermit Die:** I am rethinking coming to this school now.

 

**Ultimate Cryptid:** Can you add me to that kill count?

 

**Cocoon of Love:** What is Kinbaku? Gonta wants to learn!

 

***Blasting MCR*:** GONTA NO!

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** Shuichi buddy? What is it? Why is it such a big deal? Sounds like a cool Kung-Fu or something like that!

 

***Blasting MCR*:** … Why is that the focus? Why aren’t you freaking out about the other shit he said?

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** … I am trying to block that shit out. So care to tell us what Kinbaku is and why Gonta shouldn’t learn it?

 

***Blasting MCR*:** … 

 

**Queen of Thots:** KORK IS A FUCKING BDSM MASTER I CAN’T AND SHUICHI IS INTO IT AUSIIDUHSUKFNHKRNLSKDJMICVUFSHMVURNFFERF

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** BRO WTF!?!?!?!?!?

 

**IncreDibLE Hgih sPeEd:** Typical filthy degenerate males!

 

***Blasting MCR*:** Why are you freaking out at me Kaito? I’ve never actually done it… I’ve just… Ok I am gonna stop there.

 

**Supreme Overlord:** Awwww and here I was hoping I could get some blackmail just in case Shuichi tries to arrest me in the future!

 

**Mii Theme Piano Cover:** Ok, I think we have strayed far enough… anyone wanna guess?

 

**ROBO-BITCH:** Is the murders the lie?

 

**Supreme Overlord:** You seriously believe that this guy is completely innocent of murdering people?

 

**ROBO-BITCH:** I-I mean, you’d think we would hear of a teenaged serial killer posing as an ultimate with a murder rate almost in the triple digits…

 

**Supreme Overlord:** I don’t know. I’m gonna say the torture is the lie!

 

**Alien’s Boner:** I would have to say Kiibo is correct. I have not murdered anyone. Also, my sister is alive, just imprisoned.

 

**Supreme Overlord:** …

 

***Blasting MCR*:** …

 

**Mii Theme Piano Cover:** …

 

**Go Kermit Die:** ....

 

**Guac Dye Job:** …

 

**Cocoon of Love:** D:

 

**AtuaSaysOWO:** …

 

**The Only Japanese Weeaboo:** …

 

**IncreDibLE Hgih sPeEd:** ….

 

**Mageit:** …

 

**Ultimate Cryptid:** …

 

**Queen of Thots:** …

 

**ROBO-BITCH:** …

 

**URANUS? MYANUS:** …

 

**Mother:** Are you alright Korekiyo?

 

**Alien’s Boner:** Yes. Simply… admiring Humanity’s Beauty. I believe I shall retire for the night. I recommend you all do the same, tomorrow we have some more class, and I hope to see you all then. Farewell.

 

**_Alien’s Boner is offline_ **

 

**Ultimate Cryptid:** ...Ok, I know I’m the last person who should be saying this but… he is most certainly not ok…

 

**Mother:** However, we should respect his personal space. Also, he isn’t wrong. It is rather late now, and class does start rather early in the morning. Please get some rest.

 

**_Mother and 12 others are offline_ **

 

**Mageit:** That… kinda went poorly…

 

**IncreDibLE Hgih sPeEd:** No one knew that degenerate would bring down the mood so much! Just get some rest!

 

**Mageit:**  Why… do you still call him a degenerate? I know he is creepy but… it sounds like he has had it rough… whatever. I’m gonna get some sleep now. I’m too tired for this.

 

**IncreDibLE Hgih sPeEd:** Good night!

 

**_Mageit and 1 other are offline_ **

**Author's Note:**

> NEW NAMES (in order of appearance)  
> Alien's Boner: Korekiyo   
> Queen of Thots: Miu   
> Guac Dye Job: Rantaro  
> URANUS? MYANUS: Kaito  
> Cocoon of Love: Gonta  
> *Blasting MCR*: Shuichi  
> Go Kermit Die: Maki  
> Ultimate Cryptid: Ryoma  
> Mother: Kirumi  
> AtuaSaysOWO: Angie  
> Mageit: Himiko  
> IncreDiBLe Hgih sPeEd: Tenko  
> ROBO-BITCH: Kiibo  
> The Only Japanese Weeaboo: Tsumugi  
> Mii Theme Piano Cover: Kaede  
> Supreme Overlord: Kokichi


End file.
